im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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