yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize