I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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