If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
