She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
