id be glad to
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
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We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
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it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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