dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
this boner is exhausting
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
