i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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