Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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