he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
