where am i from again
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
