3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
