Just fell off a train. Bad.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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