Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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