Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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