You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
