so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
