God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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