she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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