hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
