If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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