we have officially lost it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
