Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
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