Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
