Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
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So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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