so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
