i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
