well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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