I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
