What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
