I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
