I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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