Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
