Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
