woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
