Sry I called you an 8
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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