laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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