You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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