batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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