whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize