:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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