im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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