Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
