singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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