So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
