Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
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