he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
