If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just puked most of my soul out..
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
