ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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