I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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