i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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