Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
