Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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