Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
