suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I will be naked everywhere
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am naked and annoyed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
